Nesting in overdrive

I'm not sure how to explain these past few weeks. You read and read all these baby books in the hopes of being ready for exactly this time. But its a weird feeling to actually be in a phase that i've read so much about.

Everyone always says, you have a hard time sleeping in the end, you'll feel so anxious for baby to come out, you'll be in nesting mode and get the house ready. People and books couldn't have hit it more on the nose.

My sleeping schedule is like this. 3 hours sleeping in my bed, on my side cuddled with my snoogle. I force myself to do this because the nurse practitioner said this aids with the functioning of my kidneys. I hate doing it because when i wake up, my tummy hurts on one side from all the weight and pressure falling on it. Potty break. Then for the next 3 hours, i move downstairs to the family room to sleep on my chaise with a firm back pillow where i sleep sitting up. Of course i usually can't fall asleep right away here. So i spend the next hour catching up on facebook status updates. Then, knowing that i'll be annoyed having to go to the bathroom in the middle of my sleep, i make one stop to the bathroom and then i finally go into the last leg of my sleep sitting up on my chaise. Everyone says to get as much sleep as i can now before baby comes. Let me tell you, i try and try - but it is NOT working. I guess my body is getting me ready to not sleep.

Anxiety - yes, I'm excited to meet baby. But with meeting baby comes the labor, delivery, and the recovery and i can't get over that part. in fact it makes me scared! i know, millions of women have gone through this, including our mother's and grandmothers, but it still doesn't appease the anxiety. Everyday this week, as i wake up to contractions or mild cramps i'm always wondering, is today going to be the day? Its a really emotional time, not feeling in control of when things are going to happen. And when i say things, i mean, life changing events!! The car is packed with our hospital bag but, i constantly feel like i have so much more to do before baby comes.

This is where nesting comes in.

I can think of a million and one things that need to be done here in the house before baby arrives. And that is probably what kept me so busy last week at like 3 am in the morning. I cooked dishes to freeze for future use. I cleaned the kitchen to my heart's content.

I literally spent 3 hours in the baby room organizing diapers i got from diaper cakes. 3 hours!! diaper cakes are great - i love making them and and i love getting them. But, its a pain in the ass to figure out which diapers are what size, which i should use first since they're smaller, etc.

I did like 5 loads of laundry between mine, wil's and baby's.

I guess doing these are not so bad. its just that fact that they're done in 3 in the morning that made me feel insane.

I honestly loooove being pregnant. I know I am blessed and so lucky to be in this

position. Only a year ago i remember recovering from one of my miscarriages. But i know that nothing, no reading, or no advice from people can fully prepare me for this new adventure i'm about to face within these next 2 weeks. All i know is that this baby is what will give me the strength to be a good mom, wife and person in this world.

So every night, i kiss his picture, waiting for the day i can kiss him in person.